baby dream

Last night I had another baby dream.

This time I was in the hospital, on the labor table hooked up to every machine. Nurses and doctors were there in the room with their backs turned towards me, I was pushing but no one was paying attention to me. James wasn't there and I needed to push. So I did, I could reach down and feel her head. I kept at it until she came out. I caught her.

When she passed through she didn't cry and no one came to clean her up. She moved but not by much. I asked out loud "Why is no one taking care of me?" I wanted someone to clean out her airways, but they kept missing.

Then I woke up at 12:30 am, stayed up til 3am went back to sleep and I'm now up at 7:30.

not tired

It's almost 3am YAY!!! I liked being able to eat if I was up at this time. I'd eat tater tots. That's just not possible now. It's kinda funny because staying up til 3 am meant something different for me not too long ago.

I saw our doctor today, I have to go every two weeks now. I gained two pounds :) I'm on track again, then I had taco bell for lunch. Hehe.

I had the dr check out a lump in my breast it's pretty big and hurts if touched. I have to get a ultrasound on it. She said it's moveable so it could be something backed up, she didn't seem too concerned so I'm not concerned.

We listened to her heartbeat, her heart was higher up near my chest. The dr said she's breeched, but still has room to move.

I received my H1N1 shot too. I hope It doesn't make me get sick.

This crazy rain has been keeping me up at night I was a walking zombie this morning. This whole week has been pretty rough physically..... I'm looking to invest in a new under eye concealer any brand drag queen tested and approved.

James says the baby is going to "age us." Maybe I'll finally start to look like I'm almost 30 and not 22

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3rd childbirth class

We learned about pain relief and a CHP officer talked to us about car seats.

There are two major options for pain relief, analgesics and epidural. Analgesics last for an hour, hour and a half. Epidural lasts as long as you'd like. The a shot seems to have less risk to the baby and can provide "rest" in between contractions. I like the idea of having some pain help in between my labour hours. With an epidural, you can't feel pain, but you also can't feel yourself pushing your heart rate can drop, labor will slow down, your baby can have an issue breathing
after birth.

I know Im tough and will stick out whatever pain comes my way, but I like the idea of having a shot that takes away the pain for a hour. An epidural seems too extreme for me (now). James and I talked about how we felt about the shots when we got home. We are on the same page with trying the analgesics first. Im going to sit down and write out a game plan, it wont be set in stone but at least its a plan.

The CHP guy was.....uh..... he talked too much and kept saying "At any rate" over and over. Apparently there are two kinds of seats for baby, I did not know this.

Our really cool handout for labor.

I've been good off sweets for the past week and a half. My belly feels different to me, but my back is starting to hurt...my side is killing me way too early in the day. im also kinda sick...booo

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Baby Ticker

2nd Childbirth Class

These classes make everything seem real. Buying baby clothes, looking at baby items, cribs, bottles etc is all the fun stuff. The classes are a kind of rude (because they are so graphic) awakening

This class was about real labor and real childbirth. Wow. Some labors can last 4 hours (like my cousins 1st, 2hrs for her 2nd) some can last 24 hoursor anywhere inbetween (my moms lasted 38 hours)... And looks like a lot of pain is involved. I guess I have to look at it this way, no matter what it's just a few hours out of my life, I'll be around medical professionals in case anything goes wrong, and I have a really great support coach. It's only a few hours of pain but it's not life threatening or on going like cancer

We were given a handout of different positions to help the baby position itself for birth, during the movie & class I wrote on one side items I could see myself needing during my hospital stay: lots of pillows, shampoo, flip flops for the shower etc.... James drew clothes on the pregnant girl. A roller derby outfit with roller skates.

I've been having bad violent dreams lately, three nights in a row. None about baby. The first one had a giant gorilla tying people up and doing mean things to them. The second had dinosaurs attacking and eating people. Last night it was of James but it wasn't James marrying a ex coworker. My brain is just overloaded and I'm anxious. I started reading more books about what to expect in myself in the hospital after shes born, babys first weeks, breastfed vs bottle.

I hate my heartburn!!! I mostly get it at night so my new rule is "no eating after 7-7:30" especially if I'm going to be sitting right after.

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Dear Holidays

Dear Holidays,

Thank you for coming around and providing cookies, cake, rice krispy treats and hot chocolate. For I have gained ten pounds in one month and have reached the weight I'm supposed to weigh two months early.

The Dr said I need to be careful otherwise I'll push out a eight to ten pound kid. That doesn't sound fun or exciting.

James has to walk with me in the mornings now. I carry three pound weights as we stroll the neighborhood.

Ive found sleeping sitting up on the couch helps me get a full nights rest and stops heartburn. One night I woke up choking on stomach acid that was not fun and feels so unhealthy.

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Winter Holiday

I spent this Christmas with James's side in Sacramento. He had to work til Saturday and was going to drive up Sunday. His boss actually let him out early so he could be with his family for the holidays! I thought that was really awesome of him to do that. Early in the week James got out early, came home and surprised me with a Oreo McFlurry! HAHA I had never had a "McFlurry" before. He scared the beejesus outta me, I wasn't expecting him and I was sleeping.

I also left a candle on....it was burning just fine, but when he came in and turned on the light there was tons of smoke....oops. I thought I was still dreaming...my man coming home with McDonalds appears in a cloud of smoke and a huge grin on his face.....

Anyways, back to Xmas. His cousins and mom gifted us pink baby clothes. I was excited. yay baby clothes!

New Years I made fried chicken and fell asleep wayy before the ball dropped.

James and I took a mini day trip out to half moon bay. I couldn't have asked for more perfect weather. We mostly took a walk downtown and had a really delicious lunch at Sam's chowder house. Walked off our meal and headed home.

So overall its been a pretty relaxing holiday. I got to see friends and hang out with family.
Feeling pretty fulfilled at this moment