blah!

im 95% sure this baby has 'dropped'....then I get a email saying Im 8 months pregnant.

crap

this is happening way too fast. I am freaking out. I spent pretty much all day in bed yesterday, I even cried. See...we are not ready for baby Angelo.... ready as in diapers, clothes, breast pump, detergent....place for him to sleep.... sigh..... James says I'm wanting to 'nest' and I can't so I'm overwhelmed. He said this weekend we are going to go gather things to make me feel better. Then I thought about having a baby shower...but the idea of putting it together myself overwhelmed me.

Sora's play room isn't put together and that stresses me out. SO I cried. I cried because I feel like I'm failing. I cried because my back hurts. I cried because the baby took my shampoo to play with and I can't find where she hid it so my hair is really gross and unwashed. I cried because James was supposed to pick up my pre natals and didn't even try and left it on me to call. its too much. (I ended up going this morning with Sora... to 2 CVS's because one didnt stock it and of course I got lost... more frustrations!!)

I also went to the grocery store loaded up on MORE fruits and veggies and not salty snacks...mostly to discourage me from eating a TON which I totally can do, but I did grab 2 boxes of freshly made COOKIES (on sale....it was a sign OK). but did pass on the cinnamon rolls you can bake yourself, like cookies...the chocolate covered mint cookies.....the salty chips....the blueberry muffin mix. (I had to think to myself, if I have these, Sora will want some and the image of her eating a cinnamon roll for breakfast..because I totally would give her one...made me think I'd have to take her to the park...but I can't run after her..but then I'd know there were cinnamon rolls waiting, TORTURING ME in the fridge)

While out on the road, I contemplated having a burger for breakfast....at 9am. I made a promise to myself...no burgers til after the baby.... i SWEAR they bloat me out!